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“The body's physiology ensures that relationships determine and fix our identities.

Love makes us who we are, and who we can become.”

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- Lewis, Amini & Lannon: A General Theory of Love

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Co-Regulation is a tool for calming and connecting the nervous system during times of distress. It helps to create an environment of safety and understanding through limbic resonance, which is the sharing of emotions between two or more people. This shared experience of connection can help people regulate their nervous systems and reduce stress and anxiety. 

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When co-regulation is practiced regularly it can help to foster a deep sense of connection and trust between people, strengthening relationships in the process. By understanding the power that co-regulation has to build connections, we can begin to create environments where everyone feels safe, secure, and understood.

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The nervous system is highly sensitive and can be easily impacted by stress and trauma. Limbic resonance describes the capacity of all mammals (humans included) for sharing emotional states. It refers to an individual’s ability to resonate with the emotions of another person on the level of the nervous system, even when they are not directly expressed. 

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New scientific discoveries have shown that our nervous systems are not separate, self-containing units. From earliest childhood our brains link with those of the people around us in a silent rhythm. Like all herd-animals we as humans regulate and stabilize our mood by being connected to each other. Through these invisible ties we share feelings, regulate our hormones and maintain our emotional and physical health. The limbic resonance we experience in close relationships also influences and changes the structure of our brain and alters how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. 

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The states of limbic resonance include both the dopamine circuit-promoted feelings of harmony and empathy and the norepinephrine circuit-originated emotional states of fear, anxiety and anger. If the people we are surrounded by are in a dysregulated state, it directly affects our biology and over time we can become dysregulated as well. 

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The pandemic has been detrimental for many people’s mental well-being due to the isolation and the loss of direct contact. As much as capitalist hyperindividualism is trying to convince us otherwise: We are not self-sufficient islands. We are interdependent. Our nervous systems need each other to (co)regulate.

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Limbic resonance is thought to have evolved in order to foster social bonds between individuals and cement relationships within a species or even between different species. You probably have experienced how calm and soothing it can feel to connect with your pet after a stressful day at work or a traumatic event.

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Limbic resonance ist the silent rhythm of our nervous systems. It is a universal language without words that all mammals speak and understand. This is one of the reasons why the quality of our relationships impacts our health like no other lifestyle factor and why unhealthy, toxic relationships can make us sick.

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Co-regulation can help to shift our nervous system into a calmer, more regulated state of being where actual healing can take place. It encourages us to be mindful and aware of our own emotions in order to recognize those of others. By engaging with this phenomenon, we can improve our interpersonal interactions and understanding of one another. When limbic resonance is present, we  experience a serene calmness that can bring us closer together and end feelings of loneliness, isolation or being misunderstood. It's the sense of safety we feel when we are being hugged by a loved one or when we feel deeply seen, heard and understood by a therapist. 

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Limbic resonance within the therapeutic setting

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The nervous system is complex yet delicate. Co-regulation is the ability to bring the nervous systems into balance and regulate emotions through understanding and connection. By embracing the power of co-regulation, we can create environments that nurture safety, trust, and emotional wellbeing.   

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A good therapist or somatic practitioner has not only mastered their methods, but has also learned to lead with their state. By remaining in an empathic feeling connection with his client, he enables the client to stabilize and calm his nervous system. This is the basic condition that must be present in order for us to feel safe enough to be able to let go of old layers of trauma, physical tension or emotional pain.

Would you like to explore co-regulation further and experience its healing effects?

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‍Red Beard Somatic Therapy has a team of experienced somatic therapists that specialize in practices based on Polyvagal Theory  that help regulate your nervous system.

‍Together we create a safe holding space for you to connect with yourself.  We are dedicated to empowering you so that you can live your life to the fullest, have nurturing relationships and achieve your goals.

We’d love to learn more about you and chat about how we can get started on your journey towards greater emotional regulation!

Book your free consultation now.

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List of references: 

Lewis, Thomas/Amini, Fari/Lannon, Richard: A General Theory of Love. New York: Vintage Books

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